Family is hard and children don’t come with an instruction manual. I remember driving home from St. Joseph’s Hospital in Orange with my new born daughter in the car feeling like the luckiest man alive and at the same time thinking; I have absolutely no clue what to do now.

If I’ve learned anything over the past 18 years, it’s that family, like life is a journey. It’s not a race and it’s not a destination. It’s a road that you travel together, yet alone. A dichotomy form sure but it’s the truth.

And so as I sat up in the bleachers Thursday afternoon June 23rd to watch my daughter Jaclyn graduate with the Dana High Class of 2010 my tears were bittersweet.

I watched my “little girl” walk with grace, dignity and confidence across the field to accept the diploma she had worked so hard to earn. There was my baby, now a woman and only moments away from stepping out into the world on her own.

I was drenched in sweat, my head was spinning and my heart was interrogating me like an angry detective: Did you do your best? Were you there for her? Did you teach her what she needs to know? Is she going to be alright? What could you have done different, better, smarter…???

My friend, whose daughter was also graduating, put his arm around my shoulder he was crying too. Alone, yet not alone, that same dichotomy.

Later that evening as I sat outside in the early evening cool, a calmer part of me spoke from within and a single answer came to me: I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect but the love in my heart for the most precious gift that God has given me: my daughter, is perfect. It has never faltered or floundered. That love is pure. It is the only perfection that I have ever known.

A smile finally came to my face when that same voice informed me of something I should have realized long ago: The fact is, over the past 18 years I have learned much more from Jaclyn than she has learned from me. A gift that I do not take lightly and that I will forever be grateful.

My Dearest Jaclyn:
I love you with all my heart and I am so very proud of you. I have been proud of you every single day of your life.

This world is a wonderfully beautiful place that is filled with joy, happiness and heartbreak. Difficult times have helped me to understand how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way.

My prayer for you is that your journey is filled with the riches that all these things bring. And please know that no matter where your road leads, you are never farther away than right here in my heart.

Love,
Dad

After I wrote this post I found this quote from Steve Jobs. He is much more eloquent and succinct and than I am:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Tagged as: Dana Hills High School, Jaclyn Prophet, Xtras